How the Saints Save Christmas

The Intro

Title: How the Saints Save Christmas (Saints Row IV DLC)

Release year: 2013

Developed by: Volition

Genre: Action-adventure

Platform replayed on: PC

Complete chaos.

That’s what comes to mind when trying to describe Saints Row IV.

Saints Rows IV The Boss naked — *Gratuitous nudity and stating the obvious*

This is a game where you play as the President of the United States, defending Earth from an alien invasion from inside a computer simulation where you can jump tall buildings in a single bound and run like the Flash.

Saints Rows IV Super Jump — *Super Jump!*

If that’s not enough craziness for you, I don’t know what is.

Saints Rows IV The Boss at the White House — *Alien invasion and Sesame Street codenames*

I’m a long term Saints Row fan, having jumped on board this crazy train with the release of the first game in the series in 2006.

Saints Row title screen — *Saints Row (2006)*
*Image via Mobygames.com*

At first, to me Saints Row was a Grand Theft Auto clone. And I don’t consider that a negative at all. In 2006, we were two years removed from the release of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, and two years out from the release of Grand Theft Auto IV.

Grand Theft Auto San Andreas — *Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (2004)*
*Image via Mobygames.com*

I was happy to have another open-world crime story to explore in between Grand Theft Auto releases. Little did I know that the Saints Row series would grow into its own unique brand of open-world gaming, to the point where it would become, well, complete chaos.

Saints Rows IV The Boss jumping off a rocket — *No, not another Marvel movie—This is Saints Row being Saints Row.*

And that brings us back to Saints Row IV, a game I completed over ten years ago. But I never played through the DLC.

Given it’s the festive season, what better time to see what silliness Saints Row can bring to the Silly Season in How the Saints Save Christmas!

Saints Rows IV The Boss criticising Christmas — *The Boss isn’t into the spirit…yet.*

The Game

Saints Row IV quickly shakes up the open-world formula it had used up until this point in the series. Where guns and vehicles were the main ways to get things done, the superpowers spin removes a lot of the need to do things the old way.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. How did we end up with superpowers??

In Saints Row IV, you play as a customisable but nameless character, known simply as “The Boss”, where you continue to lead the street gang “The Saints”. The game begins with the meteoric rise of The Saints all the way to the White House.

Saints Rows IV in the White House — *Meet the President.*

Reality quickly gives way to science fiction fantasy, as you find yourself locked inside a computer simulation after aliens invade Earth.

Saints Rows IV clearing the White House of aliens — *Alien invasion*

Thankfully, The Boss has a super-smart sidekick in Kinzie, who manages to locate him in the simulation.

Saints Rows IV Kinzie — *Kinzie has all the answers.*

As he’s in a simulation, the normal rules of running and gunning don’t apply. The Boss soon learns to Super Sprint and Super Jump.

Super Jump—Nailed that landing!

The story then follows The Saints as they attempt to break down The Matrix, er, the alien simulation, from the inside.

Saints Rows IV Kinzie speaking with The Boss in the simulation — *Kinzie acts as your guide in the simulation.*

So how does the How the Saints Save Christmas DLC enter into all of this?

Saints Rows IV Snowman with an automatic weapon — *Christmas—Saints Row style*

How the Saints Save Christmas is a short series of Christmas-themed side missions. Santa Claus has been trapped inside the simulation, with an evil version replacement known as Santa Clawz running havoc.

Saints Rows IV Santa Clawz — *Super-sized Santa*

It’s not immediately playable, and it does require you to have unlocked the Telekinesis superpower.

Saints Rows IV Telekinesis superpower — *Telekinesis*

Enough talk though—it’s time to see How the Saints Save Christmas!

Saints Rows IV trimming the Christmas tree — *Time to trim the tree in Saints Row IV—How the Saints Save Christmas*

The Replay

I decided to replay Saints Row IV from the beginning, and not just load up my ten-year-old save game to play the How the Saints Save Christmas DLC. This was done mostly to re-familiarise myself with the game.

Saints Rows IV title screen — *I played the Re-Elected Edition of Saints Row IV, released in 2022, which includes all DLC.*

I’m glad I made this decision, as the intro to Saints Row IV is epic. Epic, in that absolutely over-the-top Saints Row style.

Saints Rows IV The Boss jumping on a rocket — *Saints Row IV is a wild ride*

Joining The Saints as they are about to jump into a combat zone, it doesn’t take long for the sh*t to hit the proverbial fan.

Saints Rows IV scouting a mission — *The calm before the storm*

You see, The Boss has a little problem with taking orders.

Saints Rows IV The Boss attacks an enemy — *That wasn’t part of the plan!*

Despite the seriousness of the situation, where weapons of mass destruction have been discovered, Saints Row IV still likes to lighten the mood with its irreverent humour.

Saints Rows IV Approved Terrorists Only sign — *“Approved Terrorists Only”*

After seemingly taking out the terrorist threat, The Saints couldn’t prevent a nuclear missile launch, targetting Washington DC.

Saints Rows IV intro mission — *Too late? Or not…*

This leads to in my opinion one of the greatest opening scenes in video gaming. Take a look:

If that’s not epic, I don’t know what is—The Boss Climbing a rocket as it launches and dismantling it, all the while listening to members of the Saints say their final goodbyes over the radio.

Combined with Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” playing in the background, the climax of this intro mission sets the tone perfectly for how Saints Row IV is going to play out.

Saints Rows IV The Boss giving the thumbs up — *Thumbs up!*

Following The Boss’s heroics in saving the world from nuclear destruction, you finally get the opportunity to customise your protagonist.

Saints Rows IV character customisation — *A guy in a suit? You can create much worse than this in Saints Row IV!*

Jumping forward five years, where The Boss has landed in the Oval Office and is now the President of the United States, the real story in Saints Row IV begins…

Heading to your next press conference, there are a few big decisions to make along the way.

Saints Rows IV making decisions in the White house — *Making the tough choices*

But before you can make it to the podium, you’re warned of an imminent alien invasion.

Saints Rows IV imminent alien invasion — *That’s a new one.*

The Zin forces soon drop in.

Saints Rows IV Zin aliens invade — *Uh oh*

It’s time to grab some guns, and luckily The White House is fully stocked.

Saints Rows IV Oval Office — *Time to gear up*.

Despite taking out large numbers of Zin troops and ships, The Boss is no match for their leader, Zinyak.

Saints Rows IV attacking the invading aliens — *They just keep coming…*

Saints Rows IV Zinyak throws The Boss — *That’s gotta hurt.*

The Boss awakens in what appears to be 1950s America, or perhaps a sitcom set in 1950s America.

Saints Rows IV Leave it to the Saints title screen — *Time to tune in to “Leave it to the Saints”!*

Saints Rows IV The Boss in a 1950s America simulation — *Cue the canned laughter.*

Whatever it is, it feels slightly off. But for now, let’s just play along.

Saints Rows IV meeting the sheriff in the simulation — *A friendly sheriff?*

Saints Rows IV Main Street simulation — *Main Street, USA*

However, it’s not long before you realise that something is definitely off.

Saints Rows IV glitches in the simulation — *Are the citizens…glitching?*

Thankfully, Kinzie comes to your rescue, and explains that you’re in a simulation.

Saints Rows IV The Boss in the 1950s America simulation — *Kinzie clues you in.*

You need to buy her some time so she can work her magic and extract you from the simulation.

Saints Rows IV creating havoc in the 1950s America simulation — *The Boss doing Boss things.*

The proverbial sh*t hits the fan again.

Saints Rows IV causing mayhem — *Causing mayhem*

You cause enough mayhem to attract the attention of Zinyak.

Saints Rows IV Zinyak talking with the Boss — *The Boss is proving to be an annoyance to the new alien overlord.*

He vows not to make the same mistake twice, and drops you into your new virtual home, with an ultimatum.

Saints Rows IV Zinyak's ultimatum — *Keep causing problems, and it’s the end for Earth.*

Kinzie reconnects with you, and teaches you a couple of important new tricks.

Saints Rows IV superpower training — *Super Jump*

The goal now is freeing The Boss from the simulation.

Saints Rows IV Super Sprint — *No time to lose*

Saints Row IV draws heavily upon The Matrix in this sequence (if you hadn’t worked that out by now), with superhuman feats, simulations, and a daring escape.

Saints Rows IV exiting the simulation — *Is this the right exit?*

The escape mission is another hilarious series of events, seeing The Boss removed from the simulation, escaping Zin custody, and being rescued by Kinzie and Keith David (yes, Keith David).

Saints Rows IV escaping the simulation — *Oh, did I forget to mention The Boss is naked in this sequence?*

Saints Rows IV rescue from the simulation — *Saved by Keith David.*

Reuniting with Kinzie and Keith is only a momentary cause for celebration, as after The Saints try to contact other members of their crew on Earth, Zinyak puts a permanent stop to it.

Saints Rows IV Saints allies — *Screening The Boss’s call*

Saints Rows IV Earth destroyed — *Zinyak blows up Earth.*

And that really wraps up the early-game narrative in Saints Row IV. The Saints attempt to locate other abducted crew members and rescue them from the simulation.

So how do we get to How the Saints Save Christmas from here? To unlock the DLC, you’ll need to complete a few more main-story missions until you gain access to the Telekinesis superpower. It took me just over two hours to get to this point, focussing only on main-story missions.

Saints Rows IV Telekinesis training — *Telekinesis training*

Once you’ve acquired Telekinesis, How the Saints Save Christmas opens up as a side mission you can start at any time.

Saints Rows IV quest selection screen — *Quest selection screen*

Having not spent much time levelling up and upgrading abilities and superpowers, I was interested to see how challenging How the Saints Save Christmas would be. It turns out that it’s more than beatable with a low-level protagonist.

How the Saints Save Christmas provides a short, three-mission story arc that can be completed in just over an hour.

Saints Rows IV How the Saints Save Christmas intro — *It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas…*

The first mission starts with The Saints trying to establish some Christmas spirit. The Boss isn’t so keen.

Saints Row IV The Boss curses Santa — *Not a fan of Santa*

But this was never going to be a normal Christmas, and when Shaundi, a current member of The Saints, visits from the future with dire news, the task ahead is set.

Saints Rows IV future Shaundi warns The Saints — *Future Shaundi warns The Saints*.

Initially I thought How the Saints Save Christmas might go down the path of A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens, and involve missions trying to bring The Grinch out of The Boss.

Turns out it’s more of a Terminator 2: Judgement Day premise, with warnings from the future of Santa Clawz.

So, it’s back into the simulation and back to where we started Saints Row IV: 1950s America. And it’s time for a Christmas sweater!

Saints Rows IV Christmas sweater — *Ho Ho Ho!*

Advised that you need to get armed, it’s time to “acquire” the Crimson Cowboy toy gun, reminiscent of the film A Christmas Story and the Red Ryder BB gun.

Saints Rows IV acquiring the Crimson Cowboy — *Time for a little “five-finger discount”*.

This acquisition, and breaking the law, puts you on the Naughty List, and attracts the wrath of Santa Clawz.

Saints Rows IV Santa Clawz in his sleigh — *The wrath of Clawz begins.*

This raises an army of gingerbread men, all intent on punishing the latest member of the Naughty List.

Saints Rows IV fighting gingerbread men — *Lock ‘n’ load*

Help comes in the form of the real Santa, and once you’ve revived him, he joins you and Shaundi as an ally in the How the Saints Save Christmas missions.

Saints Rows IV finding Santa in the simulation — *Meeting Santa in the simulation*

Santa advises that raising the Christmas spirit is the way to defeat Santa Clawz and that violence from The Saints will not lead to victory.

Saints Rows IV raising Christmas cheer — *The Boss is still sceptical.*

Saints Rows IV speaking with Santa — *Being naughty is what comes natural to The Saints.*

While a straight-forward run-and-gun mission, my favourite section was another nod to A Christmas Story, where The Boss needs to stick his tongue on a pole. There’s resistance, of course, but in the end, in classic Saints Row IV humour, the inevitability is presented as two choices leading to the same end result.

Saints Rows IV How the Saints Save Christmas mission choice — *Stick your tongue on the pole, or stick your tongue on the pole.*

The second mission in How the Saints Save Christmas sees you taking the attack to the North Pole, where Santa Clawz has taken over Santa’s workshop.

Saints Rows IV North Pole — *North Pole*

Despite Santa’s advice that violence isn’t the answer, there’s plenty of it in this mission.

Saints Rows IV battling in the North Pole — *All guns blazing*

The mission itself is essentially one big firefight, but there is some interesting narrative at play here.

Saints Rows IV Santa's workshop — *There’s blood in the workshop.*

Mrs Claus makes an appearance, as she “decks the halls”, which I thought was a euphemism for some sort of violence. Turns out it is, but she’s also literally decking the halls with the bodies of fallen gingerbread men and evil elves.

Saints Rows IV Mrs Claus — *Mrs Claus fits right in with The Saints.*

Speaking of evil elves, The Boss finds himself in the middle of a labour dispute. Twinkle, Santa’s favourite elf, has betrayed him, and taken a better deal.

Saints Rows IV Twinkle the Elf — *Twinkle took the weekends and sick pay.*

Saints Rows IV fighting an evil elf — *The elves fight back.*

In the end, it takes wielding a huge Christmas gun shooting music to put down the elvish rebellion and run Santa Clawz out of Santa’s home.

Saints Rows IV Christmas gun — *Killing with Christmas Carols*

And in true Christmas style, it’s time to chase down Santa Clawz once and for all in the final mission in How the Saints Save Christmas.

Saints Rows IV Santa's sleigh — *Gotta fly now.*

The third mission is initially a flying mission, where you get to fly Santa’s sleigh and reward those on the Nice List with presents and punish those on the Naughty List.

Saints Rows IV delivering Christmas gifts — *Gifts for the nice…*

Saints Rows IV blasting the naughty from Santa's sleigh — *…doom for the naughty.*

The flying sequence is a timed mission, and quite repetitive.

Saints Rows IV raising holiday cheer by delivering Christmas presents — *Time’s almost up!*

It’s easily manageable though, and after you create enough Christmas cheer, you put boots on the ground and prepare for the final showdown with Santa Clawz.

There are a couple of acknowledgments of Kwanzaa and Hanukkah to go alongside the Christmas cheer needed to weaken the festive usurper.

Saints Rows IV Kwanzaa — *Joyous Kwanzaa!*

Saints Rows IV Hanukkah — *Happy Hanukkah!*

Also, the need to have acquired the Telekinesis superpower is because you need it in the final push to bring down Santa Clawz.

Saints Rows IV delivering Christmas gifts by telekinesis — *Delivering gifts by telekinesis*

In the end though, it could only be two.

Saints Rows IV The Boss versus Clawz — *The final showdown*

And in The Matrix style, The Boss launches himself and Santa Clawz into the air.

While not a greatly enjoyable final mission gameplay-wise, I did enjoy the ending.

Saints Rows IV Snow angels with Keith David — *Snow angels with Keith David*

Santa assures The Boss that even though he can’t murder his way onto the Nice List, he can be redeemed.

Saints Rows IV Santa speaking with The Boss — *There’s always time for a miracle.*

How the Saints Save Christmas ends with a montage of clips of The Saints spending time together and well and truly in the Christmas spirit.

A happy ending for all! Except maybe for the real Santa, who finds himself removed from the simulation and all alone…

Saints Rows IV Santa escapes the simulation — *Did The Saints forget something?*

And that is How the Saints Save Christmas.

Saints Rows IV the end of How the Saints Save Christmas — *The Saints saved Christmas.*

The Verdict

Short, silly, and repetitive sums up How the Saints Save Christmas.

Saints Rows IV shooting a gingerbread man in How the Saints Save Christmas — *You kill a lot of virtual gingerbread men in How the Saints Save Christmas. A lot.*

Putting a more positive spin on it, How the Saints Save Christmas provides a good-length distraction from the main storyline in Saints Row IV, which doesn’t deviate from the core gameplay, and throws in some fun Christmas movie references to really put the “silly” in Silly Season.

Saints Rows IV Love Actually reference — *A little Love Actually*

Sometimes it’s nice not to take gaming too seriously. The Saints Row series doesn’t take itself too seriously, and in particular Saints Row IV where it takes an almost meta approach, creating an open-world simulation within an open-world game.

Saints Rows IV propaganda — *Simulated propaganda*

The best was probably saved until last, with the montage at the end providing some laughter and cheer.

Saints Rows IV singing Christmas carols — *This year’s hottest album—The Saints Sing Christmas!*

I could see How the Saints Save Christmas becoming a guilty little pleasure of mine during Christmas time, to enjoy some gaming and help me get into the Christmas spirit, Saints Row-style.